First Love (Fire) (Placebo)
by BangstaXELF
Summary: He hated it. He loved it. Gray was so fucking indecisive. Trigger Warnings: Suicide; Depression Just normal teenage angst. My mind is fucked…I just sinned…kill me. Inspired from BTS' Young Forever and of course Yoongi's First Love (onllly an inkling…don't expect full detailed stuff…spur of the moment one-shot.)
1. Chapter 1

Placebo (First Love) (Fire)

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything (but I sincerely do hope I can maybe kidnap a certain Min Yoongi/ Suga/ Agust D and keep him in my closet, away from this big bad world)**

 **Btw, am still indecisive on the title…any help?**

 **Un-betaed since I needed to get this done quick…**

 **Dedicated to chemicalviolets whom I unfairly held up on a promise for so damn long, am sorry~!**

 _He hated it._

The flames covered anything and everything in sight. Hot orange, red angry, ever destroying greedy flames.

The house that once was the abode of a happily living family, expecting a new family member really soon, was destroyed in the blink of an eye, along with their dreams and hopes for a new beginning.

A man and a boy, father and son, were sitting on the snow cradling a female's body.

"M-mum…"

He faced his father, watching him sitting with no expression on his face.

"Dad," he placed his burnt hands on his mother's huge stomach, "Baby?"

His father shook his head in a negative gesture.

"Oh…"

It took sometime for the fact that his mother and future sibling had just died to register in mind…yet he didn't cry. Just like his father, he just sat there, watching the angry flames clawing at the weakening wooden structure, destroying it from inside out.

 _He hated fire._

It had been 8 years since that day, the day that marked the beginning of a new chapter in his and his father's life.

After the fire had destroyed their everything, they had shifted from the beautiful landscape of Isvan to some dingy flats in some random locality of Magnolia.

It was hard in the beginning, of course, the environment they were adapted to living in completely opposite of their now confined lives. But they survived, they had to.

"Am going Gray, lock the door when you leave 'kay?"

"Yeah…" he replied, slurping on some cup noodles. They had become their staple food ever since shifting.

It wasn't like he didn't knew how to cook, his dad knew too, but it just wasn't worth the effort.

After his mother's death, his dad had given up on living. He had turned a workaholic both due to the circumstances and because he wanted to. He wanted a distraction from his depression so he worked, overworked. The least good it did was that they were able to pay their rent timely.

His mother had been the glue that held them together. With her gone…well Gray couldn't even remember the last time he had an actual decent conversation with his father, much less a meal.

Once finished, he placed the bowl and chopsticks in the sink and headed into his room.

The first thing he spotted was the grand piano, not as majestic as it once was but it still sounded great. It was one of the few lucky things that had survived that fire, along with a few pictures and a safe containing some documents.

He went over to his bed and picked up his school bag, looking forlornly at the music producing wonder. His mother loved it, his father loved it too which obviously made him love it as well. It was his first love.

If he had inherited his father's physical features then he also had his mother's artistic mind, the woman who treasured her guitar and piano more than anything.

Unfortunately the acoustic instrument didn't survive its fiery fate.

He took a step closer to the instrument, the thing that helped him through his depression and angst teenage strikes, the thing that was his placebo. His fingers hovered over the pearlescent keys when a vibration in his pocket disturbed him.

From: Playboy of the Damn Century

07:35

Ready for hell?

Outside your building

Hurry the fuck up

To: Playboy of the Damn Century

07:37

Coming your assholeness

He locked his phone, picked up his keys and went towards the elevator, not forgetting to lock the door.

It was freaking 2 a.m. in the middle of the wintery night when the call came.

At 02:30 a.m. Gray found himself sitting on the sidewalk, staring with glassy, unwavering eyes at the burning debris of a car, his father's car. The stench of burning flesh hung in the air and Gray had to use all his will to fight back his gag reflex and the tears that stung his eyes.

 _Gray hated fire._

It had been 2 years since his father's accident, the night a random drunk truck driver mauled his father's car, killing him on the spot.

Faced with the circumstances, Gray had to drop out from high school and shift to a one room apartment due to the cash crunch. He had to take up 3 different jobs just to keep himself fed and pay the rent on time.

One as a barista, another a grave time shift in a 24/7 convenience store and the last one on weekends in an arcade.

He barely had time to sleep much less relax and actually do something he liked.

The piano was caked with multiple layers of dust, untouched.

Gray, for once, was sitting idly on his bed, fiddling with the lighter in his hands, an habit he had caught from one of his managers.

He had nothing to live for. He had nobody to care for and obviously no one who cared about him.

Click.

He stared at the flame, flickering with his breath.

He stood up and sat down in front of the dripping piano. Warming up a bit, he began playing a song he had held to his heart, the one his family used to play together, his mother on her guitar and him and his father on the piano.

Playing it alone, he felt empty.

The song was reaching its climax. The motions of his fingers sped up.

The flame continued to flicker, as if it was dancing with the tune being played. Just as it drew to a closure, with an angry cry, gray threw the lighter at the piano.

The already gasoline covered wood was burning. The flames hungrily devoured everything in its reach and soon the whole apartment was burning.

Gray heard the screams but paid them no heed. He felt weirdly content so much that he laughed, after so many freaking years, he felt happy.

His skin burnt as the flames tried to crawl up his body. He screamed at the unfairness of it all. Why it had to be him to suffer all alone? Why?

The stench of the burning flesh made him puke. The smoke was choking him. The pain of burning was blinding.

But he was content.

He loved it.

 _Gray Loved Fire._

~FIN.~

 **Hope it wasn't shitty. Kindly click on next for the big ass author's ramblings 'cus I think I need some repenting to do. (Am sorry for leaving ya all hanging and coming back with this shit fic like kill me…)**

 **R &R makes my day better..:D**

 **(Just made some changes…shouldn't have typed in a haste XD) (Kindly notify me of anymore mistakes! Thanks!)**


	2. AN

WELCOME TO AUTHOR'S SHITFEST!

Okay, umm hi again?

I know I've been MIA for way too long and sadly it's gonna continue on for I don't know how long.

School is a asdfghjkl….life is a asdfghjkl…I SWEAR THE WORLD IS CONSPIRING AGAINST ME AND MY WRITING TIME LIKE ASDFGHJKL!

My muse is gone…I literally cringe while trying to read my older works and have been facing a huge difficulty completing them for damn's sake.

But am trying…

A fore warning, am not gonna be updating anymore (not forever, obviously) and have decided to complete the fics before posting any further…at least it would ensure timely updates and freaking completed fics that wouldn't taunt me every time I log into my damn account.

As for my current situation, pre-boards are going on…my whole time is like study, drink coffee, study, coffee, study, study, coffee, coffee…get it? (Even my damn birthday got destroyed TT^TT But on the brighter side…AM 17 FINALLY!)

So yup, am kinda high on caffeine (which I couldn't tolerate like just 2 weeks ago) and can't imagine my current life without it…

And it's gonna continue on till the end of the damn session (maybe will take a break in winters…maybe :) Hope is always alive!)

Nooow about the fics, I haven't been able to follow with the cannon that closely (I know about the recent happenings but not how it came to be XD) so most of the stuff is gonna be AU inspired from random K-dramas or MVs (Am in process of making one with BTS' new album WINGS…the short films…dang it…they killed me…and stuff related to Agust D and some mooooreee)

My dangling fics…I don't know what to do…maybe a re-vamp when I actually have some time…(Okay, I know I make empty promises but am kinda of an impulse writer…not good with deadlines and shit like damn)

And to dear **chemicalviolets** , I know I promised a diff. storyline to you…but my muse went away and that fic is rotting somewhere in my lappie and I just felt reaaallly guilty for holding you up and made this fic…hope you are happy! Sorry about this…Hopefully will be able to make that fic see daylight some day or another… :D

Any other ques and queries? Shoot them up! (Maybe will not be able to reply immediately, but will try!)


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